The Rebel Poetess

As you may know, this year I moved three times in six months.   Moving in itself is stressful enough, when you're going through the trauma of the break up of   a ten year relationship, and major health issues- well to use a cliché the straw that breaks the camel's back. With all three moves, I had very little time to prepare.   In a weird way, this was the best approach for me.   When you have anxiety, the slightest thing can cause your heart rate to rocket.   An invitation to a party, giving a presentation at work, even a car backfiring can make you leap out of your skin. The first move was...for a writer I'm lost for words.   Chaotic.   I had made the decision to move but only had three hours to pack up what was most precious to me, and run for the hills, metaphorically speaking.   The second was super easy and practically stress free. The third move, however, has been extremely stressful.   I didn't move very far, but I have ...

Hello. It's Me. I was wondering if after all these years you'd like to meet? There's one problem. I don't feel safe at the moment. Nowhere is a safe space.   The places I used to found sanctuary, I now find scary.   I'm constantly anxious and fearful. Because he's still out there. Living his life. Getting on with things. Well I can't move on until I feel safe.  There is a lot of help out there.  I'm using the help.  I'm accepting it now,  That's been the part of this whole process I've found the hardest. I have always prided myself on being independent, self-sufficient, and not needing other people. Because forgiveness and acceptance are not the same thing.  I forgave my ex-boyfriend the moment I walked out of the door.  I looked him in the eye, and I said to him, 'you are a domestic abuser, and you will never be able to live with what you have done, until you have accepted it.'  Forgiveness was surprisi...

Greetings fellow creative types!  How are you? If you're reading this you either know me personally or are lucky enough to have stumbled across the best new blog ever by pure chance. Fate, destiny, whatever. You're here. So let's get to know each other. Does that mean we have to talk about our feelings? Really hope not. Recently I've been through some major personal trauma. Hands down the worst period of my life. I've always thought of myself as a positive person who can get through anything. I've been through a lot of shit in my life(not a huge fan of swearing but sometimes there's no substitute for it. Except the C word. Not a fan of that.) I'm going to be completely honest and open with you now. If you're reading this, you are already someone I know and trust, and one thing I have learnt from this whole experience, is that through my life I have always been someone who suffers with anxiety. I have always been a worrier. When I was five I used ...