Acceptable in the 80s;My Generation, 80s culture

As I mentioned in a previous blog post, I am a Child of the 80s.  I grew up in an era where we swam in rivers, made dams in the middle of a stream, and built sandcastles on the beach.  It was the best of times.

But everyone has to grow up.  And I did.  I became -quoting Britney here-a girl, then a woman.  Now I'm -quoting Little Britain, a lady!  I'm 36 years old.  And yet sometimes I yearn for the long hot summers where I had no other responsibilities than what hat to wear, and which friend was my best friend that day.  What can I say, I had-still do- a lot of friends.

We've become a culture obsessed with smartphones, with technology, and having it all.  I remember in Friends when Chandler, Joey, and Ross realise they are getting older when they go out to a club and finds the music too loud and just want a hot drink at the end of the night.  I feel like that sometimes.

I went out last night, to a Metal Night at The Live Rooms in Chester.  A friend from work and his wife had invited me.  Although I'd been looking forward to it all week, by the time Saturday night was upon me, I felt sleep deprived and anxious, couldn't decide what to wear, and wanted nothing more than to go to bed and hide from the world.

But I didn't.  I forced myself to put on a killer outfit, did my hair -big hair don't care-, tons of black eyeliner, red lipstick, and a million layers -I get cold at night!  I met my friends.  I made new ones.  I headbanged and did shots and I feel hungover to fuck today.  But it was worth it.

If 2018 has taught me anything, it's to be 100% yourself.  Wear the cowboy hat.  Put on the fishnets.  Wear red lipstick every day not just on date night.  Take yourself out on a date, go to a movie, or a gig, or go out for brunch with the person whose company you enjoy the most -yourself.

Be kind.  Treat others how you would like to be treated.  Stay hydrated.  It's not rocket science.

I have Chronic Health conditions.  Asthma, Anxiety, and Coeliac's Disease.  A hat trick of illnesses, for you football fans out there.  I may look fit and healthy, but I have days where I struggle to walk up stairs without getting breathless, days where it all gets too much and I have to go and have  a little cry in the toilets, then I'm OK. I need distracting sometimes, for people to tell me about their weekend, or take the piss out of my outfit.

For half my life I've held down full time employment while managing these long term health conditions.  But eventually something will have to give.  My mental and physical health is more important to me than anything.

Three people a day die from an asthma attack which could have been prevented if the had received correct treatment.  That statistic really scares me.  When you can't breathe properly, and you're sleep deprived, and you're anxious about all of this.  It becomes hard to function and makes me not very nice to be around.

If you remember Four Weddings and a Funeral, the actress Charlotte Coleman played Scarlet in the film. Petite, with fiery red hair and a huge personality, her screen presence was electrifying.  But Charlotte Coleman died in her 30s from an asthma attack.  She was in her flat and her inhaler was in another room.

Because the most powerful icons are sometimes the ones who burn out brightly. Look at Amy Winehouse.  Look at Kurt Cobain.  Look at River Phoenix.  All brilliant minds with huge creative talent.

But they all died from different causes.  Charlotte Coleman didn't get to live to 40.  She had a very small but incredible body of work, from Oranges Are Not the Only Fruit-by my favourite writer of all time Jeanette Winterson-, Worzel Gummidge, and the already mentioned Four Weddings And a Funeral.

Well I'm not ready to give up yet.  I'm not ready to go.  I'm nowhere near done.  So asthma, do one.

This Rebel is Fighting Back...