Valentine's Day

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Today I wanted to write about Valentine's Day.  What does it mean to you?  I was talking to somebody yesterday about Valentine's Day and used the example of the first Sex and the City movie.  Carrie and Miranda go out for dinner, and the restaurant is full of heart shaped balloons and glitter.  One of them asks the other 'is Valentine's Day on steroids this year', the other replies that it was the same the previous year, but they were on the other side, playing for the other team as it were.

It's a funny old thing Valentine's Day.  It definitely feels different when you are single to when you are in a couple.  When I've been in relationships, I've always done something for it, not necessarily going out, typically I would cook, then exchanging cards and sometimes presents.

I've been thinking recently about the notion of the One that Got Away.  I think everybody has one, whether they're coupled up or not.  Someone where you wonder if things had been different.  If you had chosen a different path to the one you went down.  If you had ended up together.

But often you can tie yourself up in knots that way.  Fantasising about an alternative future.  Imagining what might have been.  But I have to let that person go now. Accept that if we were meant to be together, we would be.  Because sometimes the most powerful and deep love stories are the ones which weren't fully realised.  W.B Yeats and Maud Gonne.  Carrie and Aiden.

It's the easiest thing in the world to settle for someone who you know deep down isn't right for you.  To ignore nagging doubts inside you.  But to stand alone and declare to yourself that you will wait for the person who is right for you.  That takes courage.  Despite everything, I still believe in love and romance.  We are not robots, and it takes time to heal from heartbreak.  If you rush from one relationship to another, then you don't give yourself time to grieve lost love.  Hearts are resilient.  They can survive attacks and breaks.  They may needs stitches and be more sensitive as a result,  Hearts don't heal overnight.  But if you give them time, their power can amaze you.

So on Valentine's Day 2020, whether you are in a relationship, widowed, or single and ready to mingle, remember this above everything.  You are loved.

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